And the Artist Is Born
Speaker Ksenia Golubovich
Writer, literary critic, translator,
PhD in Literature Studies
Part 1. Childhood as a search for lost time and the self
"Mirror," Andrei Tarkovsky
Tarkovsky’s Mirror is a film-essay, a hybrid of fiction and documentary. It has no plot in the usual sense; instead, it immerses us in the director’s consciousness, a stream of memories, thoughts, dreams, and associations. Personal biography is interwoven with the history of the country: childhood, the father’s departure, the war, the repressions.
The mirror here is a metaphor for consciousness. We never see the narrator; we only hear his voice, as if he were looking at himself and living his life over again, moving ever further from the surface toward deeper layers of memory. Together, these layers make up his self, a self that no real mirror could ever reflect. The sense that these layers are authentic comes from the documentary nature of the fragments: newsreel footage; poems by the director’s father, the poet Arseny Tarkovsky, read in the poet’s own voice; the appearance of Andrei Tarkovsky’s mother on screen; the doubling of actors (the young mother and the wife are played by the same woman); real details of everyday life; and the coarse, close-up sound that accompanies the seemingly distant events of the inserted episodes.
We reach the root of the problem: the splitting of the family. The parents’ divorce is a trauma that deprives the child of wholeness, and the line “I just wanted to be happy” becomes an important metaphor for life’s troubles. The figures of the father and mother, in their inability to be together, reflect the narrator’s inability to achieve his own wholeness. To “mend” this rift, one must travel the path back, to the beginning, to the earthly paradise when the parents were still together. For Tarkovsky, the film becomes an act of returning to himself, an attempt to join the past and the present and to recover a lost sense of happiness. And that means creating a “work of art.” Creating Mirror.
Part 2. Childhood as a world of imagination, fear and magic
"Fanny and Alexander," Ingmar Bergman
This is Ingmar Bergman’s last major film and, in essence, his artistic testament. It is a story about childhood, but in fact it is about the birth of an artist and about inner healing.
The world of this film is made up of three distinct spaces. The world of the Ekdahl family is warm and theatrical, full of red curtains, celebrations and illusions. The world of Bishop Vergérus is cold and ascetic, a space of discipline, fear and repression. The world of Mr. Jacobi is a strange in-between space, an antique shop that is, on the one hand, a realm of magic and theatre and, on the other, entwined with horror and loneliness. It is through Jacobi’s world that the children are rescued, but it is also here that Alexander comes into contact with mystery and with his own dark power.
Fanny returns to the safe, theatrical world of the Ekdahl family. Alexander does not. He remains with the evil he has lived through, with the mystery, and with the ghosts. He is like Hamlet: after encountering the ghost, one can never be the same again. And so the artist (Bergman) is born, along with his own art: not theatre but cinema, where he tells a story of desires, sins, and passions. It is no accident that this film is his last. It is a film of confession and atonement. With it, Bergman leaves cinema and moves into “television,” which itself (a box with a curtain) recalls the puppet theatres of his childhood. The reconciliation has taken place.
Part 3. Childhood as a world of memories, fantasies and desires
“Amarcord”, Federico Fellini
What if childhood is not something we remember, but something we never truly leave behind?
Unlike Bergman and Tarkovsky, who revisit childhood in search of meaning of their adult life, Fellini transforms memory into a dazzling world of sensations, fantasies and desires. In Amarcord, the past is not reconstructed, it is relived. What matters is not what happened, but how it felt.
For Fellini, memory is never simply a record of the past. It is an act of imagination, and cinema becomes the place where memory, fantasy and desire are inseparable.
The film unfolds as a kaleidoscope of eccentric characters, absurd encounters and adolescent fantasies. At its heart is Eros – the awakening of desire, a force that never quite disappears, even as we grow older. Fellini’s childhood is no lost paradise of innocence. It is a world charged with sensuality, curiosity and the irresistible excitement of discovering life. Yet beneath the exuberance lies something darker. Desire encounters mortality, embodied in the idealised figure of the mother, while the great wind sweeping through the film’s final scenes seems to carry away an entire world on the eve of the Second World War.
Is Amarcord a portrait of childhood, or a fantasy created by an adult who cannot let it go?
